Here we finally are! The rules of this next round in our character creation contest for This Is a Book are simple. Just read over the descriptions everyone submitted over the course of the past few weeks–pasted below–and then vote for up to three of your favorite characters, using our handy little voting widget at the bottom of this post. Just make sure not to vote for your own, because that would be rude and unfair to everyone else’s brilliant creations. I’ll be back later with an official ending date to the voting period, but for now know that you’ve got at least a week from today (Monday, May 20th).
Got it? Good. 🙂 Let’s get started.
NAME OF CHARACTER: Mr. Squeaks
TYPE OF CREATURE/PERSON: Telepathic Mouse
SPECIAL ABILITY: Can communicate telepathically, cause explosions and start small fires with her thoughts.
PLACE OF ORIGIN: The dumpster behind the deli on Walsh St.
DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC: Friendly, outgoing, sociopathic. Favored method of torture involves flooding victim’s minds with images of a scantily clad Dick Cheney. Has total control over rodent brethren. Likes to eat discarded Toaster Pastries.
NAME OF CHARACTER: Lewis James Frogg
TYPE OF CREATURE/PERSON: Super Hero
SPECIAL ABILITY: Has super strength on Monday, can fly on Wednesdays, has x-ray vision on Friday. He has no idea why. It may-or-may not be discovered that his apartment was built over a buried nuclear waste drum. His control over these powers is hit-or-miss. He finds it easier to control the powers while listening to opera music or after meditation. He hates doing both of those things.
PLACE OF ORIGIN: Queens, New York
DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC: He just received his powers and is very keen on figuring out how they work. His ultimate goal is to become an honest-to-god super hero, but he’s not really sure how yet. He enjoys: reading comic books, cheering on the Yankees, playing pac man on his phone (he’s on level 78), Brisk (what, it’s good!) and M&Ms. He’s got brains and bravery down pat, but his brawn is a little bit to be desired. He’s kind of on the nerdy side. Looks great in glasses but insists on wearing contacts.
NAME OF CHARACTER: Is
TYPE OF CREATURE/PERSON: Being verb
SPECIAL ABILITY: He allows others to grammatically exist. He is a verb of being.
PLACE OF ORIGIN: Linguistics
NAME OF CHARACTER: Dustan
TYPE OF CREATURE/PERSON: Young macho man. His good looks and suave personality catch the women (that is until they get to know him and discover his, um, problem)
SPECIAL ABILITY: He has an embarrassing problem… he sweats profusely at the slightest stress, soaking his clothes and its so bad it pours out of his face and arms and he literally rains down onto the ground (see the irony – name is like dust/dry and he rains).
PLACE OF ORIGIN: Arizona
DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC: Dark, slightly wavy, shiny, thick hair. 5’10″, slender yet muscular. Wears cool dude clothes. Is stuck on himself. He saunters around like he’s God’s gift to women and doesn’t understand why they get turned off by him after they were initially so interested. He’s frustrated, but keeps trying the same tactics. But time after time, his stuck up personality and his sweating problem turn them off once they get to know him.
NAME OF CHARACTER: Spiffy
TYPE OF CREATURE/PERSON: A buffalo-man
SPECIAL ABILITY: Can make very long sentences that are actually grammatically correct. Also, can stampede over anyone. Ever.
PLACE OF ORIGIN: The Wild Plains
DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC: Very hairy. Also, a bit of a bully.
NAME OF CHARACTER: Elane Erica Levine
TYPE OF CREATURE/PERSON: Shape-Shifter
SPECIAL ABILITY: Can transform into any inanimate object with a female gender in the French Language due to her French Family roots. Transformation takes effort and often over-exertion makes her very, VERY cranky.
PLACE OF ORIGIN: Brooklyn
DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC: Oldest of five siblings, keeps her powers a secret, looking for adventure. Has a passion for: Graphic novels, Mozart and Metallica (not at the same time), hoodies, popcorn, Pranks, gaudy earrings, cute girls (as if a magical power wasn’t enough to hide), and Diet Cherry-Vanilla Dr. Pepper.
NAME OF CHARACTER: Schnezz (Or Schnezzie, if you’re trying to be cute)
TYPE OF CREATURE/PERSON: Human dude
SPECIAL ABILITY: NOSE SO GLORIOUS THAT WHEN HE SNEEZES SOMEONE DIES AT ITS RADIANCE
PLACE OF ORIGIN: Russia
NAME OF CHARACTER:Kra
TYPE OF CREATURE/PERSON: A badass monster
SPECIAL ABILITY:Being a badass. And being an annoying know it all that eats people when they say something dumb. And being a badass.
PLACE OF ORIGIN:Atlantis
DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC: She thinks that killing people might make them like her. But it doesn’t. It just makes people dead.