I should be finishing a research paper right now. Or reading in prep for a quiz I have tomorrow, or doing a film project, or working on Ch1Con stuff, or revising, or at the least putting up the giveaway post I’ve been promising for the past month.
Instead, I’m lying in bed with a mug of Lipton going cold beside me and I’m staring at my blog like it’s a monster I need to slay.
When I began blogging two and a half years ago, it was with no clue what I was doing and arguably too much enthusiasm. I did it because it was something agents looked for when considering representing a writer and, honestly, I was in need of somewhere I could talk and talk and talk as much as I wanted, because it was my space, so no one could make me shut up. (Although someone really should have made me shut up. Like oh my gosh, CAN WE DISCUSS HOW MANY CLICHES ARE IN THIS POST? I should not be allowed to look at my old writing.)
Although sometimes it was difficult to keep up with blogging, I loved doing it. I relished the challenge. It was fun to put together new posts, exciting to see readers’ reactions. I loved meeting and getting to know new people through each others’ blogs.
Somewhere along the way, I stopped being an aspiring author who happened to blog and became an aspiring author + blogger.
But slowly, blogging has become a chore more than a reprieve. Slowly, I’ve stopped being excited about sharing things and begun wondering each time if it’s truly worth it. Especially with Twitter and Facebook as other mediums to share information that maybe doesn’t merit super long blog posts.
And I’ve begun blogging less. And less.
I guess what it comes down to is that I no longer know what this blog should be about. And I’m no longer sure how much of myself I want to share on it.
I don’t know if sharing goofy selfies is funny or self-absorbed (or annoying). I don’t know if writing Wordy Wednesdays is a good idea, when the only writing I’ve shared in forever is the stuff that’s not good enough to bother submitting elsewhere. I don’t know if I should go back to writing Fashion Fridays, or share more How To and Story Time posts, or what.
Is this blog about me or my writing or my opinions or my travels or none of the above? I don’t know.
What I do know is I miss enjoying blogging. And I’m going to do my best to make it something I like to spend my time on again.
So here is a mission statement as we move into October 2014:
I will continue to blog every Wednesday, because it’s what I’ve been doing since the beginning, but I will also blog at least one other time a week. It could be about clothes or a current issue or a movie or a book or something weird that happened to me or anything. Or nothing. The point is that it will be a post and it will be on this blog, no matter the quality or length. (Blogging every day last November was one of the best times I’ve had and I think it was because I honestly didn’t. care. about making the posts good.)
I will set time aside to write these posts, rather than grumbling about having to do them with time that would be better spent on homework or work or with friends.
I will stop worrying about annoying people by posting too much or on topics they’re not interested in. I’m here and this is what I’m doing and they can deal.
Lastly, I will stop wondering what readers think of me (at least actively) and focus on having fun writing. Because that is what this blog should be about: Me having fun.
Now, for your part of the deal: Put up with the bad posts. Let me know if there’s something you want to see more or less of. And hang in here with me, because I’ve got lots of stuff planned for the next few months.
And I’m excited to share it with you.