NaNo Day 13: I Hate Endings

The course guide for winter semester 2015 is up. Backpacking is open.

Normally I would have picked out my dream schedule for the semester, along with backup classes should those not work out, by, like, yesterday. But this time I picked out my classes, and a couple backups, then realized the semester I’m planning is my third to last.

I only have winter semester 2015 then two semesters senior year left. Then I’m done. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE I AM THAT CLOSE TO GRADUATING FROM COLLEGE?

So then, of course, I started looking into all the different types of classes I’d like to take before I graduate.

I’ve always wanted to do photography. I want to try film criticism and screenwriting and maybe another social science class. I want to take as many courses as possible on children’s and genre literature, and then there’s also songwriting and foreign languages (I’d love to learn ASL and French) (don’t look at me like that, Language War participants; I obviously just want to prove Spanish is better) and so many other literature and film and theatre and art and race/ethnicity and science and everything classes.

I know the learning doesn’t end when I graduate. I know life keeps going when I’m no longer allowed to live off classes.

But I am Hermione Granger. I want to learn as much as possible in life. I want to understand as much as possible. And I don’t know what I’m going to do after college, where I’m going to go. Get an MFA? Do some other sort of grad school? Get a job?

I DO NOT KNOW.

I hate endings. But I guess more than this part of my life ending, I’m scared because I don’t know what will begin next.

So, here I go planning my last three semesters. I will never be able to take all the classes I want, but when do you ever get to do everything you want? Now it’s a matter of figuring out what’s most important, instead. And learning to let go of some things so I can go after others. And facing the fact that as much as I hate endings, this one is going to happen.

So I might as well love everything that leads to it.

Goal for today: 1,000 + yesterday’s leftover 1,500.

Overall goal: 23,000.

Current word count: 23,527.

~Julia

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6 thoughts on “NaNo Day 13: I Hate Endings

  1. I’ve the same “Oh my God, third year’s” almost over thoughts, too. I think you’re right, the scariest part is not know exactly what’s going to happen. What will happen to my friends? Will we stay in touch? Do I really want to be a real adult yet?

    I’m just gonna go to grad school, keep learning, keep living as a broke student, effectively just changing cities.

    And it’ll be new! New is fun and exciting. But scary. Nice post.

    Like

  2. This is exactly how I felt after high school ended xD Endings are terrible. But things usually end up well…(and WOW, how do you manage to juggle college and blogging every day AND NaNoWriMo?)

    Like

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