Instead of writing last night, I saw Big Hero 6 with friends. Instead of writing tonight, I saw Interstellar with my parents.
And you know what?
It was worth it.
As you can maaaybe tell from my posts this week, I’ve slowly been becoming more and more stressed. To the point that I’ve basically just been walking around in a confused and frustrated haze and snapping at everyone and not being able to sleep and, yeah, every other symptom involved in heading for a breakdown.
But movies are a surefire way of getting me to unwind.
Not that I’m, like, not tense now. Because I am still very much in a confused and frustrated haze and (unfortunately) snapping at everyone. (For instance: My mom just very kindly reminded me I need to work on this letter I need to send to government people about business stuff and I was like, “I WILL GET TO IT EVENTUALLY RIGHT NOW I NEED TO WRITE THIS BLOG POST AND EDIT ANOTHER AND I AM SEVEN THOUSAND WORDS BEHIND IN WHERE I WANT TO BE IN NANOWRIMO RIGHT NOW AND I WILL GET TO IT FREAKING EVENTUALLY OKAY IS THAT OKAY.”)
But still, anyway, back to the point I was trying to make: It’s NaNoWriMo and I am behind on absolutely everything and quite possibly losing it. (Go ahead. Make the joke about how I’ve always been crazy.) But curling up on a cushy chair in a dark theater for a couple hours with a massive screen filling my vision and a rumbling movie score rattling in my fingers is the sort of relief that keeps me from stepping over the edge.
For a couple hours, I am not impossibly stressed. I am not how-ever-many-words-behind or neglecting my homework or trying to make so many things work that might never work, maybe are impossible to work, who knows. The constant pressure at the front of my skull and behind my eyes gives a little. My brain starts analyzing the movie rather than all the things I am not doing right in my life. And it’s just enough to ground me.
Movies remind me why I love stories. They remind me the types of stories I’d like to tell and why I’m doing this admittedly VERY crazy thing known as Trying to Be an Author and why stories are important at all.
Yes, when the lights came up tonight with Hans Zimmer’s base-heavy score still vibrating my skull, I was just as many words behind as when I woke this morning, exhausted and too tightly wound and wondering how I was going to be able to do all this.
But I’m more ready to face life, now.
Also: If you haven’t already, you really need to take a break and watch Big Hero 6 and Interstellar. They’re both fantastic.
Goal for today: 5,000 + yesterday’s leftover 1,000 + Wednesday’s leftover 1,500.
Overall goal: 28,000.
Current word count: 23,527.
(Looking at that, it should be pretty obvious I’m not catching up with my schedule anytime soon. I think I’m going to drop the extra words and just focus on making it to my weekly goal for the next few days, rather than making daily goals. Then hopefully I’ll be back on track the rest of the month. Fingers crossed.)