Bonus Post: Chronicles of a Sick College Student

Step 1: Wake up at 5:00 AM because you weren’t able to focus on your homework last night, only to find that your head hurts so badly this morning that you STILL can’t focus. At all. And you keep falling asleep whenever you try. Which is just wonderful.


Step 2: Instead of focusing on your homework, debate the merits of taking one of your only four sick days allowed for the semester, and finally realize–when you cannot focus on debating the merits of taking one of your only four sick days allowed for the semester–that you really do need to take a sick day. Joy.


Step 3: Email your professors saying you’re not coming in, and go back to bed, only to have your roommate not realize you didn’t go to class, and flip the overhead light on when she gets up. And you have a loft. So now you’re blind as well as sick. (Note that this is completely your fault, and the roommate should not be blamed for any loss of eyesight, because honestly: If you were at all intelligent, you would have thought to have left a note on the light switch saying not to turn it on.)


(Get extremely angry at yourself for not being intelligent.)


Step 4: Yell at anyone who tries to talk to you, because apparently this illness also converts you into a massive jerk.


Step 5: Go around looking like this all day:


And this:


And this:


Good night, and I’ll talk to you on Wednesday. If I’m still alive.