The Myth that is My “Summer”

When I was little, summer used to be this really big, exciting thing. I’d long for it for months; I’d dream about what I’d do with all that time off from school once I had it — play make believe games, and go for adventures in the woods behind my house, and go on family vacations, and go to camp, and just… go everywhere, do everything. When I was little, I wanted to do everything with my summers, because summer meant freedom, back then.

When you’re little, the adults make all of the plans. They decide where you’re going and when and what you’ll do when you get there, but there were always forgotten moments during the long, hot summers that the adults were too busy to dictate what you were doing, and you got to make the plans, for once.

It was magical, and it was free, and it was what made sitting in a classroom for the entire school year worth suffering through.

Now, summer is for working.

Sure, I don’t have a paying job at the moment, but I don’t have time for one — I spend my mornings and afternoons focusing on my writing, my evenings at play rehearsals, and my weekends doing more of the same. I’m hosting a writing conference in a couple of weeks for a group of teenagers, and I’m busy preparing for that. Whenever I’m not busy writing or acting or conference prepping for five seconds, I’m either sleeping or doing the dishes (while eating something super unhealthy, like my current craving: nachos *mmmm*).

Meanwhile, I’m behind on things. Yesterday I realized I forgot to do something for the conference that was supposed to be done a couple of weeks ago, I’m just now beginning to get my stuff together for college, and my room is still not clean, despite being two months into summer–all of which is much to my parents’ chagrin.

What happened to summer? What happened to freedom, relaxing, making plans and then just going and doing them? My schedule is completely booked up for the next two weeks, and it sucks, because my friends want to go to an amusement park for a day, and I can’t go with them. I can’t do anything with my nights this week, because I have theatre every day (although, on the upside, the company’s all going to see The Dark Knight Rises together at midnight on Thursday, so I at least still get to do that).

I am trapped, and I am hectic, and I’m still not doing everything that I’m supposed to be doing. I’m falling behind, I’m falling through on commitments, and isn’t that what school is for, not summer? Isn’t summer supposed to be for recharging your batteries, not for draining them even further?

I had one little taste of summer yesterday, when I was out shopping with my mom for supplies for the conference. We were coming back from a t-shirt store, driving home, when she asked me if I’d like to go to Jo-Ann Fabrics, since we were out and about anyway. I almost said no, because there was stuff I needed to get done at home, but then there was that thought–it’s summer–and I said, “Sure, let’s go.”

Isn’t that sad? That the wildest, craziest thing I’ve done in weeks is go to Jo-Ann Fabrics?

And the worst part of it all is that I’m the one who caged myself in. I’m the one who signed up for all these things I’m busy doing.

Whereas the adults used to dictate my life, scheduling me into a hole all summer, now I’m the one doing it! (Hurray for me, right?)

There are so many things that I care about, and so many things that I’m scared of falling behind on: I desperately want to be an author. Desperately. And I’m addicted to acting, and I love helping other people, and there are just so many things that I want to put my all into, but there’s just not enough time or energy for all of it, so I’m falling behind.

And it’s summer. IT IS SUMMER. And I know it’s supposed to be part of growing up, no longer having the freedom to explore and have adventures and all that, but this is not acceptable. I’m eighteen years old, and I work more hours a week than my parents do, and I’m not even getting paid anything for it.

I love to write and I love to act, so I really don’t want to complain about those things. But I need a break. I need a week of this-is-Julia’s-relaxing-time. But I feel like I can’t do that, because I have so many commitments and there are so many things that need to get done.

What happened to summer, and why in the world is it even busier than the school year was?

In other news, the winning option from the Wordy Wednesday poll was to post a new chapter of Cadence, so be looking out for that this Wednesday!

~Julia

Wordy Wednesday (“Cadence, Chapter 4”)

So remember how I was super tired this time last week?

… Well, now I’m sick. Like, I-have-got-the-stomach-flu-and-didn’t-eat-for-two-days-and-got-severely-dehydrated-and-now-must-drink-nasty-Gaterade sick.

And it sucks. And I think I definitely actually preferred being tired last week to this. (You don’t know what’cha got ’til it’s gone, eh?)

Here’s Chapter Four of Cadence for you!

Links to the past three chapters:

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

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[Sorry this is no longer available–I’m editing Cadence now with the hopes of maybe, possibly publishing it someday. Thanks for the interest, though!]

 

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~Julia

Well, as far as I’m concerned it’s still Sunday…

It’s 12:15 AM on Monday, but seeing as I’m still up… let’s all pretend it’s still Sunday and therefore the weekend, shall we?

This week has been CRAZY!!! Between working drama camp, going to theatre rehearsals, getting ready for and having my grad party, and going to other grad parties, I’ve barely had enough time to think, let alone sleep or write this blog post. Sorry!

I’m currently sprawled out on my bed in my pajamas, my dog Sammy sleeping on top of my feet, really wishing I could sleep in tomorrow… but I’ve gotta be at work at 8:30 AM. Yaaay. (<– That’s called sarcasm, my friends.)

Sorry this is such a teeny tiny post and it’s coming so late. I’m just too exhausted to do much, right now. And a heads up? This next week is going to be crazy as well, between working at camp and doing theatre and trying to get to 25,000 words in my Camp NaNoWriMo novel (my new, adjusted goal). Plus, I need to start working on my lecture for the lil’ writing conference for teens I’m running this July.

But anyway, I’m about to fall asleep writing this, sooo… G’night, you!

 

~Julia

This Is What TIRED Looks Like

So, a basic overview of what my day looked like yesterday:

  1. Get up at 5:30 to start getting ready for school.
  2. Get to school by 6:45 in order to participate in a flash mob to advertise the spring musical.
  3. 7:10 AM: The flash mob is a complete failure due to the hallway we were doing it in being too loud for us to hear the music we were supposed to be dancing too (so we basically looked like a bunch of off-beat flailing chickens instead of actors doing choreography).
  4. Go to classes. Take impromptu physics test in first hour. Get a really good score on a practice quiz for the AP lit test next week in fourth hour (12 our of 15! Whoohoo!!!). Talk about showering and hand washing methods at lunch (believe it or not, this is one of my table’s more normal conversations) while eating a Popsicle won for third hour class’s participation in the spirit days all week. Sit and do nothing during fifth hour independent study.
  5. Skip sixth and seventh hour to get into costume and practice for the assembly at the end of the day. Perform excerpts from the spring musical at assembly. Have assembly turn into a massive sob-fest when we seniors all realize that this is our last assembly of high school ever. Go take senior class photo while still half in costume while everybody around me’s crying their eyes out (not the administration’s best idea).
  6. Go get out of costume. Go to after-school spring festival and do inflatable obstacle course, get yearbook, fail at a cupcake walk, etc. Leave from festival early to get food from Arby’s because, even after four years of complaining, they are yet to supply vegetarian options at the spring festival.
  7. Come back to school. Get in costume again. Perform spring musical.
  8. Host the theatre company after-party and spend half the night making sure that nobody feeds Sammy, seeing as she is on a diet and allergic to almost as many things as I am, and the other half watching people play Just Dance.
  9. 12:30 AM: Finally escort the last of the company members — a bunch of underclassmen who I either don’t know, or else don’t know well enough to kick out — out of house.
  10. Help clean up from party and talk with Mom while she comes down from her accidental caffeine high until 1:30 (she didn’t realize the pop she was drinking all night was caffeinated, so she was WIRED).
  11. Come upstairs and avoid going to sleep, seeing as it involves effort (washing stage makeup off, getting into pajamas, etc) until 2:30.
  12. Go to sleep.
  13. Wake up at 7:30, completely incapable of falling back asleep again, despite the fact that it was ONLY FIVE HOURS OF SLEEP AFTER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY.
  14. Look like this while typing blog post:

I’m a lovely human being, you know.

Last week of school before finals, this week! AND PROM IS THIS FRIDAY!!! 😀 I’ll have to get a picture of my dress for you guys!

~Julia